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Remember when ghosting was the height of dating rudeness? Well, move over ghosts, because there’s a new player in town: the orbiter.
Orbiting is when someone breaks things off in real life but keeps tabs on you online with likes and follows. It’s confusing, frustrating, and can make it hard to move on.
But fear not! We’ll break down orbiting, why people do it, and how to finally ditch the orbit and get on with your life.
Orbiting: The New Ghosting In Modern Dating
Emily and Jack dated for a few months before Jack suddenly stopped responding to Emily’s messages. Hurt and confused, Emily noticed that Jack continued to like her Instagram posts and watch her stories on Snapchat.
Although he had cut off direct communication, he remained a silent observer of her online life. This left Emily wondering about his intentions and struggling to move on.
Why do people continue to follow their exes on social media even after ending the relationship?
“Orbiting” is a new dating trend where, after ending direct contact, someone continues to interact with their former partner’s social media content. They might like posts, favorite tweets, or view stories without initiating any direct conversation.
Why Do People Orbit Each Other?
When a relationship ends, why do some people still keep tabs on their exes online? Is it simply part of being human?
As social creatures, we have a natural tendency to be curious about others’ lives. Historically, we had tabloids and reality TV for gossip, but now social media offers a similar outlet, allowing us to follow real people we know. This curiosity can make it hard to resist checking up on a former partner.
Experts suggest that orbiting is difficult to avoid because of our inherent interest in the lives of those we once cared about. The constant digital connection makes it challenging to completely let go and move on, as we are continuously reminded of their presence online.
Orbiting highlights the complex interplay between our social nature and digital lives, making it difficult to fully disconnect from past relationships in the age of social media.
Orbiting: More Than Just Human Nature
Human nature certainly plays a role in why people orbit, but there are deeper motivations at play. For some, keeping a subtle connection alive—like viewing Instagram stories or liking Facebook posts—can be a way to show they still care without making direct contact. This can be a softer way of maintaining some form of communication with a friend or family member after a fallout.
When people orbit, they might be hoping to leave the door slightly open. It allows them to signal interest or care without the vulnerability of a direct message or call.
Seeing someone’s name in the viewers’ list or receiving a like can remind the other person that they still matter, sparking curiosity about why this connection remains.
Orbiting can also be a strategic move. By appearing in someone’s online interactions, the person orbiting ensures they remain on the other person’s mind, even if just briefly. It’s a subtle way of saying, “I’m still here,” which can keep the possibility of reconnecting alive.
People use orbiting as a method to stay relevant in someone else’s thoughts. It’s a subtle reminder of their existence and a potential invitation for reciprocal attention. In the age of constant social media updates, the temptation to check in on past relationships is strong.
Orbiting, especially after a breakup, sends a clear message that can sometimes make people uncomfortable. If the breakup is fresh or the relationship was never clearly defined, seeing these digital interactions can be confusing and frustrating. It’s important to respect the need for space and allow both parties to move on.
However, in cases where the breakup was amicable or happened long ago, an occasional like or comment can be harmless. It all depends on the context and the current emotional state of both individuals involved.
Steps For Healing And Setting Online Boundaries
Don’t Overthink Social Media Interactions
It’s important not to overanalyze why someone behaves a certain way on social media. You may never understand their reasons, and our biases often create misleading stories. The healthiest approach is to avoid reading too much into their actions. If you find yourself constantly thinking about their likes and views, it might be time to set boundaries for your own peace of mind.
Consider Blocking or Unfollowing
Don’t like someone’s online vibes? You’re in charge! Social media lets you silence the noise. Blocking or unfollowing someone is an option, and it’s totally okay to change your mind later. Feeling overwhelmed? Take a break from them altogether. Blocking might seem strong, but muting them hides their posts without causing drama, and you can unmute them anytime.
Reflect on Your Own Behavior
Think about whether you’re also engaging in similar actions, like watching the stories of an ex or liking a post from someone you no longer speak to. A key warning sign is if you’re hiding this behavior.
If you wouldn’t want others to know about it, it’s probably not good for you. Orbiting can feel like eating junk food—it may seem appealing but often leaves you feeling worse. Pay attention to your feelings and stop if the negative emotions outweigh the positives.
Evaluate Your Social Media Usage
Social media can be a mixed bag. If it brings you down more than it lifts you up, step away for a while and see how you feel. A break can be refreshing, especially if social media makes you anxious.
Think about why you use social media. Are you just going through the motions, or are you worried about missing something? Are there some people who always bring you down when you interact with them online?
Taking a break from social media can give you a fresh perspective and help you move forward in a more positive way. If there are people you enjoy connecting with online, consider meeting up in person for a chat instead.
Image: Pixabay